Should I Do a First Look on My Wedding Day?
If you’ve spent any amount of time planning a wedding, you’ve probably come across the first-look debate.
Do you see each other before the ceremony?
Or do you wait for that big moment when you walk down the aisle?
As a wedding photographer, my answer is probably not very dramatic: both can be beautiful.
I don’t think every couple needs a first look, and I definitely don’t think you should plan one just because your photographer told you it makes the timeline easier.
But there are some really good reasons to consider one.
A first look can give you more time together, make your wedding timeline much more relaxed, allow us to finish a lot of your portraits before the ceremony, and give the two of you a few quiet minutes together before the day really takes off.
And wedding days do take off.
One minute you're getting your hair done with plenty of time to spare, and somehow five minutes later someone is looking for Grandpa, a boutonniere has disappeared, and the ceremony starts in 20 minutes.
Wedding-day math is fascinating.
What Is a First Look?
A first look is simply a private moment when you and your partner see each other before the wedding ceremony.
Usually, I’ll position one person first and then bring the other person over.
You might walk up behind your partner, tap them on the shoulder, and let them turn around to see you for the first time.
Then I photograph what happens.
And that's an important part for me.
I don't want to interrupt that moment every three seconds.
Once you're together, I want you to actually have a minute to look at each other, talk, hug, laugh, cry, or say whatever comes out of your mouth when you realize, “Okay, we're actually getting married today.”
I'll guide things when necessary, but the reaction itself belongs to you.
A First Look Gives You a Few Minutes Alone
Wedding days are surprisingly social.
You're surrounded by bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents, grandparents, vendors, guests, and approximately 47 people who suddenly need to ask you a question.
A first look might be one of the only times during the first half of your wedding day when it's just the two of you.
Well...
The two of you and me hiding nearby with a camera.
But I'll give you space.
This is one of the reasons I really like first looks. They aren't only about creating photographs.
They're also about giving you a moment together.
You can talk. You can hug. You can actually look at each other without immediately moving into the ceremony, family photos, reception entrance, dinner, and everything else waiting for you.
Will a First Look Ruin Walking Down the Aisle?
This is probably the biggest concern couples have.
“If we see each other before the ceremony, will walking down the aisle still feel special?”
From what I've seen photographing weddings, seeing each other beforehand doesn't suddenly remove all the emotion from the ceremony.
Those are two completely different moments.
During a first look, you're seeing each other privately.
During the ceremony, the music is playing, your family and friends are there, you're walking toward the person you're about to marry, and suddenly everything you've spent months planning is actually happening.
Knowing what the dress looks like doesn't make that insignificant.
And yes, someone can absolutely cry during the first look and then cry again during the ceremony.
Humans are very talented that way.
A First Look Can Make Your Wedding Timeline Much Easier
Now we're getting into the photographer part of the conversation.
First looks can be AMAZING for wedding timelines.
If you wait until after the ceremony to see each other, there are quite a few photographs that usually need to happen before you can head to the reception.
Depending on your wedding, that might include:
Bride and groom portraits
Wedding party photos
Immediate family photos
Extended family combinations
Photos with your children
Additional portraits around the venue
If your ceremony ends at 4:00 and your reception entrance is scheduled for 4:30, suddenly we're trying to fit quite a lot into 30 minutes.
And somewhere in those 30 minutes, Uncle Mike has wandered away.
There is always an Uncle Mike.
With a first look, we can often move some of those photographs to BEFORE the ceremony.
That gives us much more breathing room afterward.
We Can Take More Photos Before the Ceremony
One of my favorite things about doing a first look is what we can accomplish afterward.
Once you've seen each other, there's no longer a reason we need to keep you separated.
That means we may be able to photograph:
Your first look
Bride and groom portraits
The entire wedding party
Bridesmaids and groomsmen together
Immediate family portraits
Additional combinations that are important to you
Then, after the ceremony, we only need to photograph anything we couldn't do beforehand.
Instead of spending a huge portion of cocktail hour taking formal photos, you can actually go enjoy your wedding.
Revolutionary concept, I know.
A First Look Can Help If You're Nervous
Some couples are completely relaxed on their wedding day.
Others wake up thinking:
“WE ARE GETTING MARRIED TODAY.”
If you're someone who gets nervous easily, seeing your partner before the ceremony can sometimes help.
They're your person.
Sometimes five quiet minutes with them does more than 45 people telling you not to be nervous.
I've seen couples visibly relax once they're together.
The day suddenly feels less like a giant EVENT happening around them and more like what it actually is: the two of them getting married.
A First Look Can Give You More Time With Your Guests
This benefit doesn't get talked about enough.
You spent a lot of time and money planning your wedding.
You probably also have people attending who you don't get to see very often.
If we can complete most of your portraits before the ceremony, you may be able to join cocktail hour sooner or get to your reception faster.
Instead of disappearing for an hour of photos immediately after saying “I do,” you actually get to experience more of the celebration you planned.
Your wedding photographs matter.
But I don't want you to spend your entire wedding day taking photographs.
There's a difference.
But What About Golden Hour Wedding Photos?
Doing a first look does NOT mean we're finished taking couple portraits for the day.
This is something I want couples to understand.
We can take your main bride and groom portraits earlier and still sneak outside later for golden hour.
Actually, I love doing this.
By then, the ceremony is over. You're officially married. Everyone is usually much more relaxed.
If the timeline and weather cooperate, we can step outside for 10 or 15 minutes around sunset and create another set of portraits with completely different light.
You don't need an hour.
Sometimes a few quiet minutes outside together is all we need.
And honestly, after spending part of your reception talking to everyone you have ever met, escaping with your new husband or wife for ten minutes might sound pretty good.
When I Would Recommend a First Look
I especially recommend considering a first look when your wedding timeline is tight.
It can also be helpful when:
You have a large wedding party
You have a long family photo list
Your ceremony and reception are close together
Your ceremony is later in the evening
Sunset happens shortly after your ceremony
You want more time at cocktail hour or your reception
You want plenty of bride and groom portraits
You know you'll be nervous before the ceremony
You simply want a private moment together before everything begins
For fall and winter weddings in East Tennessee, sunset time is something I pay particularly close attention to.
If your ceremony ends close to sunset and you've decided against a first look, we need to make sure the photography timeline leaves enough daylight for the portraits you want.
The sun unfortunately does not accept wedding timeline change requests.
I've checked.
When I Would NOT Push You to Do a First Look
There is another side to this.
Maybe you've imagined walking down the aisle and seeing each other for the first time for years.
Maybe that tradition is really important to you.
Maybe you simply don't want a first look.
Then don't have one.
Seriously.
Your wedding timeline should work around the things that actually matter to you, not the other way around.
As your photographer, my job is to explain the options and help you understand how each decision affects your photography timeline.
If you tell me that seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony is one of the most important things to you, we'll build the timeline around that.
We may need more portrait time after the ceremony or adjust when certain family and wedding-party photos happen.
That's completely doable.
You Can Also Do a First Look With Someone Else
A first look doesn't have to be with your partner.
If you're saving that moment for the ceremony, you can still have a first look with someone important to you.
I've seen couples choose first looks with:
Dad
Mom
Grandparents
Bridesmaids
Children
Siblings
A first look with Dad can be especially sweet.
One minute he's perfectly composed.
Then he sees his daughter in her wedding dress.
Good luck, Dad.
These moments can be such meaningful additions to your wedding gallery without changing your decision to wait until the ceremony to see your partner.
So, Should You Do a First Look?
If you're asking me strictly as a photographer, I love first looks.
They give us flexibility.
We can usually complete more portraits before the ceremony, your timeline gets a little more breathing room, and you get a private moment together before you're surrounded by everyone you love.
But that doesn't mean I think every couple should have one.
If seeing each other for the first time while walking down the aisle is incredibly important to you, keep that moment.
We'll plan around it.
If you're less attached to that tradition and you're looking at your wedding timeline wondering how we're possibly going to fit everything in, a first look might be one of the best decisions you make.
There's no universally “correct” choice.
There's just the choice that makes the most sense for your wedding.
And whether you see each other privately before the ceremony or for the first time walking down the aisle, I'll be there photographing what happens.
Probably while also keeping one eye on the sunset.
Wedding photographer problems.
If you're planning a wedding in Knoxville, Maryville, the Smoky Mountains, or anywhere around East Tennessee, I'd love to help you create a photography timeline that gives you beautiful photos without making your entire wedding day feel like one giant photoshoot.
